Can Religion Change Your Sexuality?

Perspectives - Vol. 1, No. 3 - Can Religion Change Your Sexuality?
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=283

Barb Chandler

Recently there has been increasing attention to support groups that promote change from homosexual to heterosexual behavior. These ex-gay ministries have been around for years, however, with the advent of 'the moral majority', 'traditional family values', and other values promoted by the religious right, they have become much more widespread.

My partner and I heard a testimonial from an ex- lesbian. She said that she has attended to a church-sponsored support group, and was 'in recovery' from her lesbianism. Her story was entwined with the familiar assumptions that those who are anti-gay pronounce with undaunting authority.

This women said that she came from a dysfunctional home. Her mother was an alcoholic and, her father sexually abused her. She became very depressed, and was suicidal. Her sister, who was lesbian, suggested that she visit a gay/lesbian bar. She did, and liked it. To be 'in' with the crowd, she cut her hair short, bought a motorcycle and a pickup, donned leather apparel, and thus made her entrance into the bar scene. She turned to drugs and alcohol, went through many relationships, and hit bottom. She begin a relationship with a woman who would turn her life around. Both of them decided that they needed to turn to God for help since they felt that their lesbianism was at the root of their depression. They begin to go to church, and found a support group that made the claim to heal people of their homosexuality. They went, and made the choice to stop being sexual with one another. They wanted to maintain their emotional relationship, and continue to live together. However, a woman from the support group told them that they needed to live separately. They both decided that this was for the best, and, after a tearful goodbye they separated. The speaker said that her 'recovery from lesbianism' is a constant struggle, which she maintains by continuing to go to 'counseling', praying for God to heal her of her lesbianism, and removing herself from temptation.

I found this testimonial to had quite an emotional impact upon me. Actually encountering a person face to face who believes her lesbianism is evil, and is a 'continual struggle', was a definite trigger for me. I was saddened by the fact that people who are anti-gay/lesbian find it necessary to project their distaste upon others, and claim that their way is the only moral way. I wondered how the talk would impact those people who may be struggling with personal issues regarding homosexuality. Would they be vulnerable to 'conversion' groups. Instead, I hoped that they can reconcile their homosexuality with their spirituality, and if not, then will look for a group which will give them positive support.

The generalizations in this woman's testimonial was, in my experience, a prime example of the assumptions that some ministers, priests, and facilitators of support groups commonly make. They see homosexuality from a pathological standpoint, are convinced that homosexuality is inherently evil and is against God's plan for humankind. They believe it is their 'Christian' duty to change people who exhibit homosexual behavior to heterosexual. Not only is this a waste of time and money, but it can prove psychologically damaging. Treatment takes many different forms; counseling, psychotherapy, aversion therapy, support groups, exorcism and prayer. The assumptions underlying treatment is that God thinks homosexuality is wrong because this is what the Bible says. Therefore, as long as the person is willing to repent of their homosexuality, God will heal them. In addition, these people think that sexual orientation is a matter of choice, and can be easily changed. Research findings suggest that efforts to change homosexuals are nothing more than a social prejudice garbed in psychological language.

Perhaps the strongest testimonial of what a negative impact counseling to change one's homosexuality has on a person's life is an autobiography by Mel White, the gay man who did ghostwriting for the likes such as Jerry Falwell and Pat Robinson. Mel was raised as an evangelical, the church which typically encourages ministries as counseling homosexual's to change their orientation. He discovered he was gay early in his life. The book details the extremes he went through to try to avoid his homosexuality. He tried, very unsuccessfully to be heterosexual by getting married and having children, went through years and years of therapy, shock treatments, depression, despair, suicidal thinking, and promiscuity. It was not until he accepted his homosexuality that he begin to lead a happy life. He is now a very strong advocate of gay and lesbian rights, and is the Dean of The Cathedral of Hope MCC/Dallas.

Mel's reactions to his homosexuality seems to be a very typical response of a person who has been raised hearing about how God considers homosexuality to be an abomination, and how society considers those who are homosexual as 'perverts' and 'sexual deviants'. A person is apt to hide their sexual orientation from their relatives, friends, and sometimes even from themselves. They strive to find a quick fix to the emotional pain and conflict they are in. It is this attitude that these groups appeal too, with their false promise of everything being all better once you repent of your homosexuality. Besides the promise of 'quick fix', gaining acceptance and support of the group has alot of appeal to a person who believes they need this type of acceptance and support.

There are general characteristics that groups such as these have. They often use manipulation, fear, and deception to maintain a hold on members. They often shower the members with unbelievable amounts of affection and approval for staying in the group and meeting their expectations, which is called love-bombing. Groups also control and distort information from the outside. Thus it becomes a sin to read any 'worldly' publications or 'spiritual pornography'. These groups make an extremely sharp distinction between right and wrong, good and evil; everything in the group is positive, godly, and everything outside is negative, satanic. Ambiguity, doubts, and serious questions are not tolerated. The authority of the group's leadership is virtually absolute. All problems are oversimplified and deflected either away from the group or back towards the individual. Trying to change a person's God given sexuality is not only very unethical, since the counselor relies on their own agenda rather than the client's, it can become deadly. For example; the National Institute of Health reports that 'about 30% of youth suicides are by gay and lesbian people who recognize that they are homosexual and realize that they cannot change their sexual orientation'. There are professional organizations that have spoken out against the practice of categorizing homosexuality as moral depravity or mental illness. The American Psychological Association released a statement on homosexuality in July 1994. "The research on homosexuality is very clear. Homosexuality is neither mental illness nor moral depravity. It is simply the way a minority of our population expresses human love and sexuality. Study after study documents the mental health of gay men and lesbians. Studies of judgment, stability, reliability, social and vocational adaptiveness all show that gay men and lesbians function every bit as well as heterosexuals. In August of 1994, the American Psychological Association sent a proposal to one of its committees that would declare as unethical: attempts by a psychologist to change a person's sexual orientation through therapy, referral of a patient to a therapist or organization who attempts to change people's sexual orientation". The American Medical Association released a report in December 1994 which calls for "nonjudgmental recognition of sexual orientation by physicians. Finally, the American Psychiatric Association took homosexuality off of its list of mental illnesses many decades ago.

I hope that through this expose clergy and pastoral counselors will become aware of the influence that these ex-gay/lesbian ministries have upon the spiritual and psychological lives of gays and lesbians. If any of you reading this article are struggling with spiritual issues regarding your homosexuality there are many organizations that you can turn to for help. Most mainstream churches have gay and lesbian ministries that celebrate homosexuality as God's gift, and are advocating for equal rights for gays and lesbians.

A Resource List

Books

* Stranger At The Gate. To Be Gay and Christian in America, Mel White, 1994.

* Is The Homosexual My Neighbor? Another Christian View, Letha Scanzoni and Virginia Mollenkott, 1978.

* Ex-gays? There Are None! What It Means To Be A New Creature In Christ, Sylvia Pennington, 1989.

* A Complete Workbook for Demystifying the Bible's Position on Homosexuality. Torrey Stuart

Barb Chandler is a regular contributor to "Perspectives".

Reference
Chandler, Barb (1996). Can religion change your sexuality? [Online]. Perspectives. [1996, July 15].